I try to be a good person, really I do. Sometimes, though, I can be a complete crap weasel. Sometimes I can be a complete crap weasel without even trying. Today would be one of those days.
Tonight, I had to take Brian's Alex to dance class. About two minutes into the drive we rounded a dark curve in the road and approached a car in the oncoming lane flashing its lights. I began to slow down. All of a sudden a black and brown dog appeared directly in front of us. I slammed on the brakes but slid on the wet pavement. Then came the horrible thump, thump of the dog hitting my bumper then the clunk of it hitting the underside of the car. From under the car we could hear the dog screaming in pain. Horrified and shaking, I backed the car up. There in front of me was the dog, still screaming in pain and bleeding from his belly. He tried to stand up but could only drag his back half to the side of the road. Now he decides to get out of the road. A man on the side of the road who had been trying to call the dog out of harms way, went over to him as I pulled to the side of the road. By this point I was sobbing and shaking. The man came over and asked if we were okay. "No." I sobbed. "How bad is he?" He just shook his head, "Don't get out of your car. You really don't want to see it." By this point, Alex was crying, too. Our dogs, Star and Grace, kept running though my head. I didn't know what to do. Fortunately, the man was already on the phone with animal control, who were now in the process of sending someone out.
I felt like absolute crap. I didn't think it was possible to feel any worse. But wait..... my life is always governed by Murphy's Law. As we sat there, both crying and me shaking so badly the car was practically vibrating, a blue mini van pulled up. A woman opened her door with a hopeful look on her face. "Did you find a dog?" she asked the man. Oh my God, it's the dogs owner. Just when I thought I couldn't feel worse. "Ah, yes ma'am. He's...ah....been hit." The woman let out a small cry. She jumped back in her van and pulled it to the side of the road and jumped back out. Unable to get out of my car, partly because of oncoming traffic and partly because I was frozen with sorrow, Alex and I watched in the side mirror as she scooped her still screaming dog up to put him in the van. As the door of the mini van opened, the situation found a way to get even worse. Over the sound of the screaming dog came the sound of the crying children that had been helping her look for their beloved dog. I had just run over someones family pet. I had robbed these children of their friend. The sound of the screaming dog, the sobbing woman and the wailing children had me quickly approaching a nervous breakdown. I sobbed with guilt.
After the lady drove away, the man came back over to us. "There was no way you could have seen him until it was too late. Don't beat yourself up over it." he said, trying to be comforting. Fat chance, I thought. How can I not? I love my dogs like my children. Being teenagers, there are times I like my dogs better than my children. I would be devastated if anything happened to either one of them and now I have caused that same devastation to another family. Chalk one up for the crap weasel.
I'm so sorry.
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